Kristen's Random Quotes from our 2005 Yule Ritual and "The Whole Bran Play"...Click here for photos (OK, these might sound a bit incoherent, but in that they are an accurate reflection of the true spirit of the ritual....)

Norma: "-since then, the British clipped the wings of that family of ravens."

"There will be no Gods killed during this ritual."

"Once they behead him, he doesn't shut up, he's a true Druid."

The Ravens:
"Are you my mother?"
"Nevermind! *squawk*"

"We're all going to be raven lunatics."
"Bother, bother, bother - let's go bother Bran!"

"Shall we call you dark helmet?"

"Fuck, didn't mean to do it that time."
"She's got fire in her head, caw caw caw."
"Got feathers in her head, caw caw caw."

"Is his son Branflake?"
"His daughter."

"Whose idea was this, whose idea was this?"

"You're going to be sorry."
"You want the Bran? You can't handle the Bran!"
"Caw? This isn't CAW, this is GoG."

The Ritual
"And since the grove policy is that rehearsals are for weenies..."

"Ah, that's nice. Do you have a CD?"
"Norma, unplugged."

"Ring my bell...chime."
"I'm sorry Marc, you just can't ring my chime like that."

"Old ones who give life and laughter to all that is, give us your blessing."

Earth Mother: "And now I'm going to walk around a little bit to stimulate labor." Lady Sue
[collective wince] "That made my uterus hurt." Norma
"Baby definitely got back."

Meditation: "And relax your face...she said, in NJ." Norma
"You're driving this marvelous machine called a body."

"I don't like the French."

"Yeah, [the basement] has rituals worth of crap in it."

"Norma, I got to tell you, when it comes to meditation, you're head and shoulders above the rest." Bran
"Caw, caw caw..."

The Well...or the Moat. Xuk: "I am a big deep ditch with water in the middle."
"You're full of shit."
Xuk: "Numerous albino crocodiles[...]"
Bran [to Norma]: "Are you listening to this?"
Xuk: "-That's why when you have a moat, you can't get sick."
Bran: "Thank you Chuck, that was... special."

"I think we need a hook."
"A hug?"
"A -hook-."

"There's a fucking bird in here."

Bran: "Thank you. Don't call us, we'll call you."

"That's kindof catchy. I could headbang to that."

Tree: "I'm the tree. Somehow I'm talking without a mouth."
"And you seem to have a fungus. Might want to see a doctor about that."

Bran: "It's a valuable service, thank you."
"Tree, accept our offering - and our sincerest apologies."

"Heads will roll when they hear about this."
"You don't have a leg to stand on."
Bran: "Thanks for reminding me!"
"I don't have hands."

Outsiders: "Norma, can I go too?"
"No, I wish."

"This is a clean crowd."
"Bran flakes, bran muffins..."

Brigid. "Now we honor our bard Brigid, who's whimpering in the corner."
"She says, buy your tickets at"
"But only if you're going to see GoF?"

"Brigid, accept our offering."
"Zombie Beltane, that's a great idea."

"Isaac told me there'd be days like this."

Ancestors: "Holy crow, what are you?"
"That's right, we have to add Mr. Miyagi to the ancestors this year."
"Get it out of your--"
"Nice save, Norma."
"Rock on, ancestors."

Bran: "Not enough droning, need more droning."
"Let's move it along."

"Is that a feather in your bag, or are you just happy to see me?"

"Push, baby, push."
"Bing bang, wa lalala, bing bang."

"And who would you like to inflict this on?"
"Senor Wence, and his lass."
"And all the people in New Orleans have American Mumm-." ?

"We need a mosh pit."
"Thank you, redneck tree."
Bran: "Yeah, yeah. Song, song."

"Is that your intepretation of Ozzy Osburne?"
"You know, I was supposed to be heckling the ritual."
"I'd like to say you were the butt of everyone's jokes... "
"Yes, my lack of body parts has been duly noted."
"You can be the butthead."
"I ain't go no body..."

"I'm proud to be the cause of all this..."

The Play
Bran: "King and protector of Eg-gohland."

Matholwch: "I'm stinking pissed, too."

"Mawwiage is what bwings us together today.. wuv, twue wuve, will fowwow you..
[Branwen, in response to "do you take this man...": "I don't have a line, so I can't say anything."]

Efniessen: "I forgot the pie, in my rage, I forgot the pie." (Destroys pie. No horses were harmed in this ritual)
Matholwch: "Cease and desist now, laddie."

Manannan: "What if we gave you another pie?"
Efniessen: "One with blackbirds in it."
Matholwch: "What does it sing?"
Efniessen: "Showtunes, mostly."
Matholwch: "It would, you pansyass."

The bird flys to Bran with the message: "What's this? Branwen's trapped in a well! Oh no, sorry..."

"It's got accessories, it's got a crone! It's a package deal."
"Woe is you."

"Fries up!"

Efniessen: "Ah, stick in your eye, I lost mine."

"What say ye, eh?"
"Walking floursacks! They don't have those in Britain. Maybe it's an Irish thing. Like jigs."

Efniessin "I'll pretend to be an Irish soldier."
(sings )"My Irish eyes are smiling..."
"Irish eye."

"If only he had a moat to protect him!"

Bran: "You need to cut off --this-- head, this head."
"He's a witch."
"Burn him at the stake."
"Just cut off his head."
"Seasons greetings!"
"Blood, blood, entrails, blood."
"I like the pink severed neck entrails, that's a good look for you."

"Thank you, Hans Solo."

"Bury his ass already."

"This message was brought to you by the moat advisory council."

"You fickle, fickle druid."

The Ogham Omen
"I'm surprised, that's an awful lot of straight lines."
"What about the one covered in blood?"

"And Gods know this community's a little prickly."
"Especially the senior druid."

"These are not the sticks you're looking for."

"A lot of emotional shit. Lot of community shit. Lot of shit."

"Pardon me, I'm having a rodent moment."

"I can wipe my eyes with a druid, holy shit."

"Would you prefer a raven?"
"A waven."
"Wavens are sacred creatures."

"Oh wait, he got the bottle before."
"Still unopened."
He's a puppet. He got no hands.