“Always be yourself, unless you can be a unicorn. Then be a unicorn.”

“I have a turtle and my turtle loves me.”

“And suddenly you’re mythological!”
“In a good way?”
“I think so.”

“Silverfish - he called himself something else.”
“Yeah, but one time he offered me a ride home and he’s been Silverfish ever since.”

“I’ll walk around with you.”
“Sure, you want to pimp me out?”

“Do your thing, shove them in the mask.”

“S.S. Apocalypse, ‘Polly’ for short.”

“I love having a loud voice.”

“I told you this was going to be silly.”

“Symbology in a rather bloody, heavy-handed play.”

“You gotta worry about St. George there.”

re: being established in 1990
“We are old enough to drink now, yes. It hasn’t stopped us in the past...”

celebratory vs. magical
“What we’re doing is throwing flowers up and hoping for blessings.”

being kitchenwitch for every time you DIC
“Yeah, I have like 5 backlogged.”

“3 chimes to signal a break in time.”

“It’s easy. [pause] Bob is choking back there.”

“Someone has to tell me where everything is.”
“Up is that corner over there.”

“The gatekeeper keeps everything on an even keel.”

“Trish is going to say something like ‘let the thing be a thing’.”

“There are 2 participatory parts of the ritual and this is one of them.”

gate-opening visualizations
“Trains going into tunnels not so much, maybe for Beltane.”

“Muse is to lower inhibitions, loosen our tongues-”
“Isn’t that alcohol?”

“We honor them. We’re saying here’s a quarter, go to the movies.”
“You just dated yourself.”

“St. George is looking very distant and noble back there.”

endless verses
“All 63 of them. I didn’t know there were 63.”

“We’re sending a boat to the sun so it can slowly work its way back here.”
“That way is South?”
“Well, no, that’s North.”

“You want to rehearse the waters of life?”
“You betcha!”

“They had clipart in the fifties?”
“Yeah, you actually had to clip it out.”

“Our doctor is sick with bronchitis at home. It’s like a bad joke. Who wants to play doctor?”
“I’ve been waiting to be asked that all my life.”
“I always tended to lose.”

“Oh please, no honoring the stones this time.”

“You ok there, Bertha?”
“I think it’s going to be a boy.”

“Your sun has a mustache, it’s cute.”

“And as you can see, the earth mother is preggers.”

“After an old season, there’s a new season...there’s reruns in between.”

“We are here to honor the gods - as unlikely as that may appear. Old ones who give life to all that is, grant to us your presence.”
“Presents? Presents!”
“Presents LATER.”

“All glory to the hypnowheel! Meditate meditate, don’t think about your mundane problems. Think about new problems.”

“Sorry, I’ll try not to spill my guts all over y’all.”

“To the this way!”
“The East.”

“South is where the current bit of snowy nasty is coming from.”

“We are all in snow, if nowhere else. And we’re in the center.”

“When it’s 90 degrees outside and you turn on the faucet, think of snow.”

“-and the sacred fire.”
“Your nipples are showing.”

“Makes coffee, nectar of life.”

“Heats us in other ways that produce children.”
“Put your nipple away.”
“That’s what started all this in the first place.”

“I make tree sparkly!”
“Yes, five year old, now give up the flame.”
“I’m trying!”

“You young little shit.”

“-and I would like to find... a Gate. My brothers join me, every one.”

“Go get a cup of coffee, try the greasetrucks, you’re gonna love it -”

“It’s snowing outside.
“It’s not supposed to be doing that.”
(Looks at directions accusingly) “‘Snow right on top of us, in the middle.’”

“We all have this crazy uncle who was a horse thief, and that’s where we get our cunning. And the crazy aunt who lived in the attic. For 28 years. That’s why we can deal with solitude.”
“Crazy unhygienic Uncle Lenny.”

“In January I was young, but now I am Old. Old. OLD.”

“And my breath ...DEATH.”
“I’ll say.”

“Your ass is grass.”

“Call in all of your...smaller creatures.”
“...as a snack?”
“I’m hungry!”
“Dragon says tick tock.”

“As we see Persephone coming back from Hades. Takes a long time though, because they are deep, deep, deep, deep, deep within the earth.”

“Really important person over here! Y’all looking for me? I got some things to take care of first.”

“Learned every tongue - and mastered every one.”

“I don’t have scurvy, who wrote this drek?”

“Though some of us be little, and some of a cross dressing sort.”
(Bertha hikes her tummy)
“I’ve been waiting 12 months to birth the brat I bear.”
“12 fucking months.”

“You can’t take him to the movies, either.”

“This worked the last time we did this play.”

“The woods are lovely, dark and deep, but I have miles to go before I sleep. Miles to go before I sleep.”

“This time of year is filled with obligations and expectations. Particularly family obligations and expectations, and I know I didn’t live up to mine this year - I got a present to remind me of that. Praise to you all for being here.”

Boat Names
The Fireball
The Ship Who Sang
Ship of Fools
The Recycle Bin
El Fuego
The Bounty
U.S.S. Nipple
State of Confusion
The Black Pearl
The Pink & Green Pearl
The Pearl of Many Colors
The Flaming Dutchman
HMS Apron Strings

“They hear us whisper in the winds and think we’re insane.”

“What are they calling this one, Freya?”
“Freyr. It’s a boy.”

“Now if our omen readers could come onboard.”

Liquor - “A cup of good cheer.”
Thermometer with no temperature - “The weather will continue to be unpredictable.”
A large man straddling a car - “It’s going to be a bumpy ride.”
“So it’s going to be another year in Jersey.”

“The old gods have not returned.”
“That’s because they never left.”

“The great ones, the small ones, the crazy ones, the ones who giggle a little too hard when bad things happen to a goat.”

“Behold the waters of life!”
“And the kisses of mistletoe.”
“The new year is chocolate-y.”

“Fire good!”
“Fire good.”

“Tree, self-sacrificing and noble, we thank you.”


“So Forest Green, Slime Green and Snot Green will join me, and once again we will make-”
“Stabby stabby?”

“Do not rush the kitchen witch, or he will dump hot things on you.”

“I’m just thinking of your vagina.”

“Thank you for the gift of side boob.”

“There’s something in the cherry that makes our asthma act up.”
“It isn’t blood of the infidels, is it?”
“Depends on what you call infidels.”

“Karl had heels.”
“Not at 12 months pregnant!”